First son in Boot Camp now

I watched my son go off to Boot Camp today, May 9th, 2016. It was 29 years and 8 months ago that my parents watched me board a plane and fly off to San Diego for Boot Camp.

I know what my son is going through right now because I remember every bit of it from that side. I was excited and apprehensive, proud and a little alone all at the same time. I was sure it was much easier for my Mom and Dad but now I know I was so completely wrong in that assumption. It is so much harder from this side watching them go.

I'm so proud of my boy that I couldn't even begin to put it in words and yet, I'm also so sad to see him go that it hurts. I miss my buddy. I know he isn't going to be the same person when I see him again next. He's going to be different and I'll still be proud but again, I'll be sad that he isn't the same son I let go of today.

I'm torn right now. Part of me is happy for him that his adventure is starting and part of me just wants to see his smiling face sitting in the family room playing a video game or hanging out again.

Letting go as a parent is so much harder than I could have ever imagined.

some of you may have seen this---always think it's appropriate when you first send your sailors off to RTC:

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Replies

Brian Weber May 20, 2016 at 4:58pm

Michael...you hit the nail on the head. Exact same experience being a Veteran as well. Something I learned from a wise friend of mine after I admitted to the waterworks flowing and thinking I was all prepared to send my first born off, "I may have been mentally prepared but not emotionally". I never thought of the two being mutually exclusive...but I do now. Luckily my son opted to come back close to home...not sure how it would have been for him to be far away...

Hang tough man!
NavyDads Admin (Paul) May 11, 2016 at 10:30pm

some of you may have seen this---always think it's appropriate when you first send your sailors off to RTC:

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"
Dustin Turner May 11, 2016 at 9:25pm

watched my daughter get on plane yesterday it was hard but I know our kids must become there on person I am very proud of her, her mother is still a bad mess even after getting the call last night knowing she was there. only thing that bothers me is not talking to her everyday
Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom May 11, 2016 at 2:57pm

LESSON 1: It is not just the Recruit, but rather, the whole family that serves!
Scott May 11, 2016 at 1:03pm

"It is so much harder from this side watching them go."

Yep - I know the feeling. I too thought that being through it myself would make it easier but I was so wrong. With that said - 4 weeks in and I'm really starting to look forward to seeing the new man my son is becoming. Mom on the other hand...is still a mess but getting better each and every day.

Hang in there!
Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom May 11, 2016 at 9:36am

Welcome to the Roller Coaster.....It is going to be a series of ups and downs over the next 8 weeks.....but "what a ride"......It is all worth it in the end, Gents!
John Marsch May 11, 2016 at 7:56am

My son left yesterday. I was a rock during the day but when that phone call came last night....
Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom May 10, 2016 at 8:14pm

AMEN to that, Brother!!!!

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