I can't believe I am even expressing this, but I need to let others know to pass the info/warning on to their kids that are under 21.
Probably like a fair percentage of you, my son enlisted because he had no real options in front of him. We are upper middle class, my kids (we have four) want for nothing they haven't earned. Unfortunately my 19y/o (my oldest) hasn't earned much so he didn't have all the 'toys' his friends had (cell phone, new car, cash on demand, etc). Barely made it thru high school, underage drinking charge at 16 (I didn't permit him to get his Drivers License until almost 18), in alternative school. My other kids all distinguished honor rolls, gifted programs, zero discipline issues at school/home. He went to Jr college and ended up dropping all his classes but didn't tell us to he could hang with his friends, even faked a college report card. Couldn't keep a job, even my brother fired him from a cushy job after 3 days. He ended up moving out cuz he got a job that paid more than minimum that he liked and got a room in a house for $150. He thought $150 a month but it was a week and he moved back home. Then within a week lost that job. He wanted to move back home, crying, pleading, etc....
We gave him an ultimatum, enlist or your on your own. In reality he wouldn't have been on his own but I am good with the Jedi mind trick and it worked.
I wanted him to have "forced structure", he needed it, he only lived to make himself happy. He was drinking, smoking cigs and other things. Living like a gypsy and only cared that people thought he was a "Fun Chill Guy". Sickens me to even type that.
So the Navy accepted him. He graduated from boot camp in January of 2011. He tried to escape the first day too but they convinced him 4 years in the Navy was better than 4 years in jail. He actually got a pin/coin/button/whatever for most improved recruit in his division.
I was proud, amazed actually. Totally different kid at graduation and the 4 hours we got to be with him since he was a grad and go. No trace of the old kid, it was literally beaten out of him (his words).
Well now he goes to A school and the reigns are not as tight - cell phone, facebook, leaving base, free flow of beer to anyone with dog tags, even a 19yo that looks 15. He gets in minor troubles at A school, captains mast twice...seeing the old kid coming back -maybe. Still no real issues, he is 19 and a male.....been there.
Graduates A school and I fly him home for 4 days in the beginning of April. He's never at the house, hooks up with his old friends and gets a buzz going one night, not drunk. He tries to get in the house and I told him no booze, zero - and we had an altercation and he ended up sleeping in the yard with an ice pack that night. I may be almost 40 but I'll be damned if a 19 y/o kid is going to even attempt to tell me what to do.
All was forgiven the next day and he flew to San Diego for his assignment. Well he gets in trouble for coming into the base under the influence the night before he is supposed to fly to Bahrain and end up missing his flight to leave.
Blah blah blah, he is on the CV70 and gets to go thu all that Bin Laden fun.
Travels around a bit, end up in Hawaii, same group of sailors, he gets busted for underage drinking in Hawaii. Arrested by civilian police. Charges dropped by civilian police but not Navy. On restriction once back in SD. Captains Mast, XOI, SEPARATION! They decide to separate, zero tolerance on underage drinking. I understand that but then they should enforce it on base and not allow these kids to drink on base or serve them on base. Please, I am not complaining about him being separated, I understand them being fed up....been there for the last 13 years with him.
Then while waiting to be separated (supposedly on restriction), he get nailed with other guys for smoking pot on the ship. Miramar Brig is where he is at now. Not sure how long he will be there.
I just kinda wanted to tell my little story (believe me it is abbreviated and some things left out) to let others know that these kids are exposed to even more in the Navy. I thought he would have structure and discipline, that ended in boot camp. After boot camp it was far more lax....plus they have a real paycheck to buy what they want.
I am upset, not blaming the Navy...this is the real world, I blame him. I am upset about the decision he made and his disregard for the other people in his life who are effected by them. If you have a kid that has no self control, don't be shocked if the service does not change that. Plus now I am stuck with the aftermath of this when he comes home.
Replies
I was right there with you until paragraph #3. My son at 19 clearly saw "the end of the road" approaching quickly, and enlisted himself. As I write this, he is in his 3rd week at boot camp - probably hating it - but realizing life just ain't one continuous party. I have confidence that he will see it through and not screw it up as he knows it's his last chance to make something of his life. I just hope your son will 'wake up' somehow before all his options run out.
Sell your house and move......
Would anyone on the board here know of volunteer organizations that your son could participate in? Like a boys club or such? Or are there other interests he might get wrapped up in that could keep him occupied during liberty? Martial arts? Cars? Something he can do that matches up with any of his three siblings? Hang in there Mike.
sorry to hear the story Mike, but it serves as a warning...the Navy is essentially a zero-tolerance organization for underage drinking and for drug use.......