Bastard!
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=64500 Word is that he did his kids and wife with a ball bat.
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In nautical terms the fantail is the furthest aft part of the main deck of a warship, sort of the 'back porch', where Sailors off watch go to grab a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, tell sea stories, or share a ribald joke.
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and another from Navy Intel Specialist:
A crusty old Chief found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local (strictly women's) liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?"
"No," the Chief said, "just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
The Chief's short reply was, "Yep, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little - relax and enjoy yourself."
The Chief just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
The chief continued to stare at her and replied, "1955."
She said, "Well, there you go; you really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously - I mean, no sex since 1955, isn't that a little extreme?"
The Chief, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "Oh, I don't know. It's only 2130 now!"
can't take all the credit- Navy Intel Specialist posted that earlier today and I just had to copy!
During a commercial airline flight a Navy Chief was seated next to a young mother with a baby in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing her infant as discreetly as possible. The Chief pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related articles. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, he responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!" Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears. The Chief sadly shook his head, and in true Sailor fashion exclaimed........ And all these years I've been chewing gum.
Five cannibals were employed by the Navy as translators during one of the island campaigns of World War II. When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, “You’re all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Sailors are eating. So please do not indulge yourselves by eating a Sailor.”
The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, “You’re all working hard, and I’m very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?”
The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, “Which of you idiots ate the Chief?” A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, “You idiot! For four weeks we’ve been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a Chief!”
At a command picnic, a bunch of officers were standing around talking. A Lieutenant said, “I think that making love is 80% fun and 20% work.”
A Commander responded by saying, “No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work.”
Then a Captain said, “No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it’s more like 20% fun and 80% work.”
They continued to discuss the matter for several minutes until a Chief Petty Officer walked by. The officers called the Chief over to ask his opinion.
The Captain said, “Chief, we’re having a discussion, and we’d like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The CDR thinks that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. What’s your opinion?”
The Chief scratched his chin and said, “Sir, I think you’re all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun, because if there was any work involved, you’d have an Enlisted man doing it for you!”
An Admiral visits one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the US Naval Insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command. The cook replied, "Well Admiral, after each one is cut out I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the insignia".
Horrified, the Admiral exclaims "That's very unhygienic!"
The cook shrugs and replies "In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the Doughnuts".
saw this on FB and just had to share:
for all you "bubbleheads".....
not Navy but it still cracks me up:
Stayin' Alive with the Irish Army......
and laugh if you will, but on a serious note: the tempo of Staylin' Alive matches the suggested tempo for cardiac compressions for the current suggested CPR technique. You may want to watch and remind yourself of the rhythm- you may save somebodies life!!!!
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