How to give your child the right encouragement without making them feel like you don't care

[cotysmom]

My son left for bootcamp on May 20th. I took him to the recruiting office and he went to MEPS from there. I didn't get a whole lot of time with him. I didn't even get to see him swear in. I think that it might have been for the best. I probably would have broke down. His first letter came in on June 12th. Man it felt like forever for me to hear from him. The letter was so sad. He had told me that he cried when he got my letter. I cried all weekend. It is heartbreaking for a mom to hear that her child is hurting regardless of their age. I was told to write him a letter and address his homesickness and then move on. I am afraid that if I address it, it will make it worse. Then on the other hand, I feel like if I don't he will feel like I don't care. By being a mother you are more sensitive at some of the times when you should be strong. Not all moms but I know that this one is. His dad isn't active in his life and hasn't been since he was 12 years old. He is missing out on a great kid and soon to be a great man. But, my question is should I address his homesickness or should I just cheerlead him on ? Any advice dads?

[cotysmom]

Thanks so much. That is exactly what I will do and I will keep you guys posted I promise.

[NavyDads Co-Admin, Calvin]

My Grandson went to Boot Camp in Feb. 2008 and has been in Training ever since. Hopefully he will Graduate in Sept or Oct. I have only seen him three times since he left. Once in GL, for a while when he came home on Christmas Leave and once when we went to San Diego. I send him info on what is going on here in the DFW area, jokes, news about the family and answers to any question he might ask when we talk or text each other. I found asking questions go very few answers and they were not very informative. I found he will tell me what he want to when he wants to talk about them. I let him know I miss his and think about him all the time. I also let him know I am Proud of his decisions and I know he will make it though to his Dream. Just be positive and do not pressure him about what he is doing. Just because he does not want to talk about things do not mean he is doing poorly, just he is not ready to talk.

Hope this helps. It is hard not only for us at home but hard for him. Let him know that there are quite a few friend, family and strangers that have told you the are Proud of him and he is in their thought.

Like EG said Hang in there.

[E.G. - ND's Creator/Admin]

Cotysmom,
I can only tell you what I wrote to my son. I wrote encouraging letters about the good times he had growing up and why I knew he would make it through boot camp without a problem. I kept them positive but assured him of my love for him and how proud we were of his decision to serve his country. The first 5 weeks are tough not only on us but for the recruit as well. The home sickness will pass in week 6 because the goal they are shooting for is right around the corner. Week 5 and on, time really flies by because they know your planning your trip to see them at graduation. You'll see a big change in the positive direction once he gets to this point. Your right there at him losing his homesickness, so hang in there and don't dwell on it. Every recruit experience's this and he'll make it through too. Keep the letters positive and assure him of the love and pride you feel for him.

Hope this helps some and keep us posted on how he and you both are doing.

Hang in there, EG