Why Won't Young Men Help Themselves

[Cindy]

Okay, all you dads. I have a question that only you, as males, can answer. I have this 20 yr old, who will be 21 at the end of the month, acting like his knee will just take care of itself without any help.My question to you is: What is in the male brain, at that age, that makes you think that way? He can do some knee strengthening exercises that will help him running, and hiking, and eventually repelling down a rope from a helicopter. He can do these exercises, in his room, after working at the BAS and it wouldn't take him that long.Any help into the psyque of a young man would be greatly appreciated.

[Cindy]

He does need to get on the mend. He surprised me with a call last night. I asked him, if I went to the trouble of contacting my former physical therapist and got a list of excercises and bands, would he do them. He said he could try. That's more than he's said before. He's talked to his MO. I would have to go over Morgan's head to get to the HM and that wouldn't go over very well, at all. I'll do my part, then I'm about ready to throw my hands up and say "I give up"...just not sure if the mom in me will allow that! Thanks Ron, for your comments. Believe it or not, they do help me think things through.

[Ron]

Cindy, not sure what the relationship may be... could his HM-1 talk to him? He seriously needs to get himself on the mend. Hmmm... could his Hm-1 perhaps talk to his girlfriend, if she's the one to whom he will listen?

[Cindy]

Hey Ron ~ Yes, it is Morgan. He has been cleared to continue as a corpsman for the Marines as it doesn't affect the tendons. He did get pulled from the Kilo Group and will work at a BAS until another opening occurs. His knee cap doesn't sit straight on his knee so the inside of the cap rubs against his thigh bone (if I remember correctly), thus causing the pain. It's also called PFS. He can strengthen his outside muscle so it will help pull his kneecap over the knee. It, seriously, would take him maybe 30 - 45 min to do strengthening exercises in his room. I just don't get it.

I was wondering if this might be a touchy subject!

I'm sure it's not self-pity and almost 95% sure it's pride. Our doc has talked to him as it's something he's been dealing with from gymnastics. He was in PT, here in Boise, then got the call that instead of leaving for bc in October, he was to leave June 18th.

I am truly worried that his pride is going to hurt him. You are right, Mom and Dad are getting tuned out. If anyone could get thru to him it would be his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she isn't helping because "he knows his body" so she's not going to say anything.

Anyway, thanks for your words. I'll continue to listen so if you have any advice, keep it comin!

[Ron]

Whoa, Cindy, this can't be Morgan you're talking about? Another son? Going to assume so, and I'm assuming there has been a knee injury and now it's time for bearing down and getting with rehabilitation. And... it's not happening. I notice there has been no other comments so far... 'fraid us "men" are reluctant to address the problem as it's a touchy subject, basically because... it can be either denial of the seriousness of the situation, because "I'm young and nothing bad can really happen to me", or worse it's self-pity. For either of these, Mom and Dad can get tuned out for the most part, unfortunately. Have you had your primary physician talk to your son, to stress to him the need to keep exercising the knee (properly) and what can happen if he doesn't? Good luck to him in his passage through this tough phase of life. Ron