My son started boot camp on Sept.6 2011. We got the form letter but no box on sept.12 I sent a letter to him the next morning telling him all was good at home but we had wildfires all around East Texas. That afternoon on the 13th of sept. 9 homes including ours burned to the ground in a fast moving forest fire... My question is should I tell him as soon as we talk? Or wait until pir? The form letter with all of the info was lost in the fire and all of his possesions are also gone.. I dont want to add any additional stress while in boot camp.. We are all alive and no one was hurt. What would you do?
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Jimmy, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your catastrophe. We cannot imagine dealing with such tragedy, losing one's home and lifelong belongings. Your questions regarding your son show what is inside of you and it is that strength that will hopefully carry you through this. I can only give my opinion, being a father of a sailor myself. As long as their were no casualties, it would probably be best to let him be until he finishes his Boot Camp and PIR. Nothing will change telling him earlier and as you said, will only hinder his progress. Again, so sorry for your loss and wishing you strength and a quick recovery.
Totally agree. Just think, when he sees everyone is okay at PIR anything bad will fade away. You can tell him what you don't include in your letters while you're in a nice restaurant having a good meal with him. Make it matter-of-fact, no big deal. You're at PIR when the time comes for him.
Jimmy
I want to start by saying how sorry I am to hear about what has happened to you and your family. May God bless and look down on you. I would have to agree with most everyone and say I would not tell your son. My son lost his favorite Uncle while he was laid up in Ship 5 on medical hold. He had way too much on his mind and I didn't want to add to that in any way. Also, keep in mind that if you do tell him and he has any kind of breakdown there, it may be just the excuse they can use to dischargeg him from the Navy. I have been following several stories about young men and women who have been sent home for what seems to be the wrong reasons. Only you and your family know how your son would handle the news. I hope you can search your heart and find the right answer. Keep us informed.
Bob
Hey Jimmy,
I read your post this morning and had to get to work but had to say sorry. Have known close friends in the past who have lost everything. Sooo very sorry!!
As for your son. Many have not said what to do but....I WOULD NOT SAY ANYTHING TO MY SON. My son is at Great Lakes now. Graduation Oct 7th.2011. Here is why....
Our Sailors need encouragement! They are being broke down, everything as they know it has been taken away, given up, and forgotten. And all of this is for the greater good!! They will come out better people and sailors. My point is they all need encouragement from home. This will keep them going in the direction they need to go. Positive reinforcments from home! If you tell him it may just be the one factor that makes him quit. Dont let him kow for now. He may not be happy abought the decision but guess what... It is not abought us at this point...It is abought your sailor and HIS success!!
God Bless,
Steve
My advise? DO NOT TELL HIM. There is nothing he can do, and this will cause unnecessary stress, in a very stressful situation. I'M VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS (I'M GLAD NO ONE WAS INJURED) But I suggest you wait to tell him, when the time is right. Anyway, Thats my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions! Good luck and God bless.
We should examine the situation a little bit. Where and how did you receive USPS delivery of your mail, and has that changed? If you had a rural carrier delivering, where is the Post Office that carrier operated from and what are they doing with the mail for affected people in your area?
There may be no need to change your mailing address (for now) which would make your Son aware of something happening. Discuss it with the local postal officials, and while it may mean you need to go to a specific Post Office, they will be holding mail for your area anyway. Find out how the USPS is handling it.
Secondly, how did you receive telephone calls? If you were on a cell phone in the first place, then your Son already has the telephone number. If not, what is the method of receiving phone calls now? If you're now with a neighbor or relative, then I would contact either the Red Cross as previously listed or the Great Lakes PAO to let him know the change. "Service disruption expected for several months" can cover as far as he needs to know, and that could be a "phone problem" not that your home has burned. If you're now using a new cell number, all the better because those contacts can get him the right number.
Either way, for mail or phone calls, that would cover your contacts until PIR when you then can let him know you've also had changes and a bit of excitement back home.
Jimmy,
Wow, I can't tell you how sorry I am to read about your situation. I cannot tell you exactly what to do, but I will share a tragedy we had while my son was in Boot Camp. A day into the second week of boot camp, my wife's father, (our son's grandfather), committed suicide. We struggled with telling him right away or waiting and decided to tell him. We had to go through the Red Cross and they had a Chaplin talk to him and they allowed him to call us for details. They told him that if they let him leave, he would have to start all over again and it may delay him. We encouraged him to stay in boot camp and he did. He was given a couple more phone calls than usual and he persevered through boot camp with a very heavy heart. I believe he became stronger through the experience and we talked later and he said that he is glad that we told him and trusted that he could handle it. He said that he would have felt left out and like we were keeping something from him if we didn't tell him. Also, there will be times that your son will get to call you and that will be hard if he doesn't all ready know your situation.
I hope this helps,
Paul
Jimmy, my son also started on 9/6...if you need an address to get hold of him, perhaps I can relay info? my son is ship 9, div 359, do you recall that info off the form letter...also, in case any new mail comes to you, I would definately make sure you have an address forwarding your mail...best of luck and I pray all in east texas are well after those fires.
Dave
When you get to talk say the obvious truth you are all ok.
He won't have heard the news most likely.
Do, in case the news got into boot camp, notify RTC that you are alive and well.
Be there for PIR
In your next letter to him at boot camp -- it all depends on your personal relationship with your recruit -- just let him know you are ok, and will be there for PIR.
Be there for PIR.
As for yourself -- get new PO address, notify RTC of it.
And best wishes and hopes for your upcoming dealing with insurers and the whole lot of trouble you will have to deal with.
Bless you, if you need support here or in Texas, just ask
Be there for PIR
I used the Red Cross when Kat was at A-school when my mom died and she got a week of leave...
5/26/2011 - WASHINGTON (AFNS) -- As part of an ongoing effort to better serve the military community, the American Red Cross will move to a single Telephone number for its emergency communication services in June.
Beginning June 13, service members and their families can use one toll-free number, 877-272-7337, to send an urgent message to a service member. "The Red Cross has always been there for us," said Robert L. Gordon III, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for military community and family policy. "It's critically important to our men and women serving away from home that their families know whom to call in the event of an emergency. The Red Cross is now making it even easier to make that call."
In the past, military families living outside an installation needed to remember the phone number for their local Red Cross chapters for emergency communications, while those living on a military installation used the 877-272-7337 number. Now, military members and their families can use this single number to initiate an emergency communication, regardless of where they live.
For those people stationed overseas, the three options for calling will remain the same: calling 877-272-7337 direct, accessing the number through a military operator or calling their local Red Cross station.
"An emergency situation can be a very stressful time for a military family, and having just one common telephone number to remember can make a difficult situation a little easier," said Sherri Brown, the senior vice president of Red Cross Service to the Armed Forces. "U.S. military personnel and their families can remain confident that the Red Cross will be there to keep them connected when there is a crisis at home."
Through this number, Red Cross emergency communications services can put service members in touch with their families following the death or serious illness of an immediate family member, the birth of a service member's child or grandchild, or when a family faces other emergencies. Additional Red Cross services, such as case management and emergency financial assistance, are also available.
(Courtesy of the American Red Cross.)
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