DANGER - Spice may have cost my son his life - Gold Star Family Support Group

PLEASE BARE WITH ME... THIS IS LONG BUT IMPORTANT.

As some of you know, my son took his own life July14 at NNPTC in Charleston, SC. My son was a very happy person and NEVER suffered from depression. The night before he died, My younger son and I talked to Ryan for 45 minutes... laughing, joking, and talking about LeBron James and the Miami Heat. The next day, Navy personnel showed up at my house to tell me that my son was found dead in his room.

When NCIS investigators came to interview me, they asked me if I ever heard of SPICE. Like a light bulb, my thought went back to my last phone call with Ryan. He had asked my younger son if he had heard of Spice. Ryan said it was a big deal in Charleston, because it was a legal drug that you could buy, but was illegal in the Navy, and that a lot of sailors were getting busted.

Spice is a synthetic drug that reportedly gives you a marijauna like high, but has serious side affects. I believe Sailors like to take it because it is UNDETECTABLE. It is currently illegal in most European countries as well as 5 state here. Some of the side effects include, insane paranoia, vomiting, panic attacks, hallucinations, and more. Ironically, a co-worker saw a documentary on TV where a young man had stabbed himself in the neck because he couldn't stop the feelings he was experiencing. Here's another website where people have shared their experiences.

http://www.cachevalleydaily.com/news/local/84031967.html

Because it is undetectable, I will never know for sure, but it is the only thing that makes any sense. I realize that some people will think I simply want to believe that my son wouldn't have taken his own life, and that may be true, but If this message can save one person, then I am happy I did it. PLEASE talk to your sons and daughters about this dangerous drug.

Carl,

Let me start by saying you and your family have been in my family's thoughts and prayers since first word of your son.

I commend you, for not only finding the strength to write this but your willingness to warn others about the dangers of Spice. Today's Sailors & Soldiers range between 18-22 yrs old, would be my guess. These are college age kids, even if they're serving in a branch of the military. Instead of a fraternity house, they have a stronger fraternity of shipmates. These young men and women will try and do the same as normal college kids.

They are held to a higher standard then the average college kid because their responsibility is to defend this country's freedom. Today's Sailors are highly skilled and trained in what they do. But, when it comes down to it, still just a normal college minded kid.

The Zero tolerance drug policy in the Navy is a good one. I understand them needing their Sailors battle ready in a moments notice. The problem is that our Sailors/college kids are still going to act like normal college kids. Drinking & Drugs, will be available to them in these port city's just as easy as a college campus.

Although the Navy does a great job about warning their Sailors about these dangers, it's like mom or dad telling their child "say no to drugs". It to often falls on deaf ears. Many of these Sailors, including my own have experimented with these undetectable drugs to pass the random drug test. It is REALITY, this is happening in the Navy. We as parents feel helpless with our child so far from home and just pray daily they use good judgement.

So Carl, like you said, "If your post can save one person's life" I'm sure their will be a family indebted to you for your strength for putting this information on here for other Navy families to read.

Hold your head high and never let anyone tell you, who your son was, you and your family knew him best.

My condolences for your loss,
E.G.

Replies

Chris B (PIR 10/15) August 30, 2010 at 12:11am

First let me say I am truly sorry for your loss and can not imagine....you and your family will be in my prayers. I also want to say you are a very strong person to be able to write about this and warn others and god will bless you. As for my job as a firefighter and a paramedic, I discussed this with some of my co-workers and no one has heard of it yet down here but that does not mean it is not here. Since reading this we have begun to research this and make all our first responders aware. I want to thank you for the heads up and you can bet I will discuss this with my daughter.

Chris B
Laurilyn Harris August 24, 2010 at 11:07am

Carl,

Thank you SOOO very much for the info!! I am calling my son this afternoon to warn him. I am so sorry for your loss. It had affected all of the Nuke community, especially Ryan's classmates. God Bless you and the rest of your family.
Carl Hildinger August 16, 2010 at 7:30pm

Cora (and everyone else who has responded):

Thank you so much for the heartfelt replies and kind words of encouragement. Quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to throw myself (and my family) out there, but knew I couldn't simply sit by knowing that other kids may be in danger. I have definitely made a decision to continue this battle until it's banned (at least in my home state). I have already contacted the local high schools about an article in their first papers of the school year to tell Ryan's story. Our family is "honored" that you would like to start a group called "Ryan's Hope". Thank you all, and God Bless.
02i1w1yotgkxr August 16, 2010 at 9:44am

Carl, thank you for sharing this vital information with us on navydads! I am making this my top priority in getting the word out to as many families, children, teens, Scouts, Schools, and anyone else I can about the dangers of this. I am going to check every convenience store, gas stations, discount tobacco stores etc and make a list of who is selling this drug and then I am going to get this info to our Governor of the State of North Carolina to get it banned! I want to start a group here in Ryans Memory and I want to call it "Ryans Hope', if that is alright with you and your family. I want this group to be a group of young people that supports making good choices in giving hope for their futures. I would want to keep you in the loop on it as i have a dream of making it grow from State to State. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family Carl. I know how hard this has been and I know that noone can bring Ryan back, just know that your loss has touched many of us and we are here for you! Thank you again for sharing. Sincerely, Cora
David August 15, 2010 at 6:29pm

Very interesting Carl, but we have not had that interview yet, so.... It will be interesting.

David
Florence ,Adam's Mom August 15, 2010 at 4:21pm

Thank you Carl for sharing this important information with everyone and I have posted the website on my facebook page. I am so very sorry for your lost and thank you for being strong enough to share you story with others, we never know by sharing our storyies just who we may be able to help and yes maybe even save someone's life. Sending my love, hugs and prayers to you and your family.
carol August 15, 2010 at 3:30pm

I also want to say Thank you for posting this to prevent others from hurting themselves.
Carl, my prayers and sympathies are there for you and your family.
Carl Hildinger August 15, 2010 at 3:13pm

Jim:

Thank you very much. Please feel free to add this to any forum/discussion you like. I am in the process of contacting local high schools, town newspaper, and my congressman. I feel like I have a responsibility to get the word out to anyone that I can, and whoever will listen. In my hometown, I have discovered that you can even buy it at most gas stations.

Thanks again,
Carl

NavyDads Co-Admin, Jim said:
Carl, thank you so much for sharing this information. I am going to point others to this. I have also left a message with my son just wanting to know if he has ever heard his shipmates talking about it. He is an aviator and I hope that none of the guys that fly would even consider using this stuff. I hope you can find some answers about Ryan. Thank you so much again for sharing this. God Bless.
Jim
E.G. - ND's Creator/Admin August 15, 2010 at 3:04pm

Carl,

Let me start by saying you and your family have been in my family's thoughts and prayers since first word of your son.

I commend you, for not only finding the strength to write this but your willingness to warn others about the dangers of Spice. Today's Sailors & Soldiers range between 18-22 yrs old, would be my guess. These are college age kids, even if they're serving in a branch of the military. Instead of a fraternity house, they have a stronger fraternity of shipmates. These young men and women will try and do the same as normal college kids.

They are held to a higher standard then the average college kid because their responsibility is to defend this country's freedom. Today's Sailors are highly skilled and trained in what they do. But, when it comes down to it, still just a normal college minded kid.

The Zero tolerance drug policy in the Navy is a good one. I understand them needing their Sailors battle ready in a moments notice. The problem is that our Sailors/college kids are still going to act like normal college kids. Drinking & Drugs, will be available to them in these port city's just as easy as a college campus.

Although the Navy does a great job about warning their Sailors about these dangers, it's like mom or dad telling their child "say no to drugs". It to often falls on deaf ears. Many of these Sailors, including my own have experimented with these undetectable drugs to pass the random drug test. It is REALITY, this is happening in the Navy. We as parents feel helpless with our child so far from home and just pray daily they use good judgement.

So Carl, like you said, "If your post can save one person's life" I'm sure their will be a family indebted to you for your strength for putting this information on here for other Navy families to read.

Hold your head high and never let anyone tell you, who your son was, you and your family knew him best.

My condolences for your loss,
E.G.

This reply was deleted.