Navy Nukes

Comment

Comment by Michael Louth on February 27, 2011 at 7:19pm

We have raised 3 kids also and they are 3 completely different personalities and have to treated as such.  God made us all unique.  Sandy and I have discussed this and agree there will be parameters our son must follow and some space we must give to him.  He hasn't been overly receptive to our ideas but we will stick to them regardless...we have to.

If the Nuke Program was too much for him, we certainly wish he would have chosen to speak up and ask to be moved into another program, rather than the choices he has made to get himself removed.

We love him regardless of anything, but this is our home, which he is welcome at, but our rules stand today and for all tomorrows.

Comment by proud dad Nuke sailor on February 26, 2011 at 8:59am

I can only speak from personal experience, but I can say that everyone is different. I have three kids and I handle each of them differently. I know that each of them have different gifts and need to be encouraged differently. I hope that you can step back and see where your son is mentally, but the end result is he has to become self sufficient, that is just a part of life. I am sure that your son has lots to contribute to this world and if you see this desire in him then you need to do what you can to help him. Sometimes we have to hit the bottom and realize that is were we are before we can decide that what we are doing is not working. Don't make it to comfortable at home and do establish boundaries, he is a guest in your home. Things like you need to be in by this time of night if you are going to stay here and not disturb the rest of the family are very reasonable. Your son will be different than he was before he left but if he is staying in your house you can establish the boundaries. I would discus this with your wife and make sure that both of you are on the same page and have a united front to help your son move forward. My son said that there is some of the things there that you just get or you do not. It doesn't mater how much you study some of the guys are just not cut out for it. I was concerned when I saw the post about the things that were sent home and you may want to ask him what his motivation was in doing that. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Comment by Michael Louth on February 26, 2011 at 4:44am

THanks Craig.

We have treied to discuss this timeline with him and it just seems to agitate him.  We have made it clear that he has to find employment, a car, an apartment, etc in a set amount of time.  We love him more than he can imagine, but we can not support him financially.

We will do what we can to help him, but he will have to become self supportive in many ways.

We will continue to lean on you all as this is a road untraveled for us.

Comment by Craig on February 26, 2011 at 1:22am

Michael - I work with alot of young deppers who turn into sailors.  Sometimes they get in trouble and are discharged.  The bottomline as a parent that you really need to start to think about how long your son is given to find employment.  They must know that by x day, they must have something lined up.  You cannot begin your thinking of this when he arrives, you and your wife need to figure it out now, and stand united on what you both agree upon. 

These young sailors are use to having deadlines.  You need give them enough time to settle in, but they need to know when the deadline is, let's just say 3 months for example.  Make sure you sit down with him (a couple days after he arrives) and circle the dates on a calendar.  Then put on the frig. You don't want him to come back and say he didn't know. 

 

Secondly, I'm not sure if you understand this, most parents don't.  The discharge he was given makes him ineligible to use his education benefit.  The money that he paid in, $1200, is now donated to the government.  So, if he says he plans to go to school, then understand that you or him will have to come up with the cost of the tuition. 

 

Like I said, I have done this many times, and I know the thinking these young sailors have.  If you need any help, just ask.

Comment by Michael Louth on February 25, 2011 at 7:55pm

That is Great to know Paul!  We will be here...count on it.

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on February 25, 2011 at 7:41pm

Michael---once in the NavyDads family, always in the NavyDads family....we offer support through think and thin, good times and bad.....anytime you need to vent or have questions, this is the place!!!

Comment by Michael Louth on February 25, 2011 at 7:35pm

Thank you Craig!  Sandy and I are hopeful he will share this with us.  We will just take one day at a time and respect the fact that this has affected him in ways only he can understand, just as it has affected us as only parents would understand. 

It is so amazing to us just how awesome you all are!

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on February 25, 2011 at 11:17am

thanks Craig...you always manage to post info that provides a layer of knowledge that only long term Navy personnel would know about....I am in envy of your list of Navy links!!!!!!!

Comment by Craig on February 25, 2011 at 11:12am

Just click on the image it see it....

Comment by Craig on February 25, 2011 at 11:11am

Michael - I was reading down through this thread and I am not sure if you know how to read a DD-214 Navy discharge paperwork.  If you do, then maybe this will help one of the members that don't.

----------------------

Alot of people wonder how to read a Navy discharge code.  These codes are only located on the DD-214 page 4, not on page 1.... 

 

I will use mine as an example. 

Here is the bottom of my DD-214 page one:

Here is the bottom of my DD-214 page 4.  Notice the extra little bit that is added on that shows the Seperation Code (Block 26) and the Reentry code, normally called the RE code (Block 27).  These codes tell most of the story.   

 

 

 

To find the Reentry Code meaning, just go to this link:

http://www.npc.navy.mil/NR/rdonlyres/7C634CC8-1D80-4FFF-97FD-455DC5...

So you can see on the Page 4, I was Honorably discharged (Block 24), I received a RE-2 since I went to the Fleet Reserves (retirement), and that I received a NBE discharge code.

To see what a NBE code is, go to this link:  http://www.navycs.com/downloads/1900_8c.pdf

(Note you must use the older 1900.8c manual since the Navy limited the viewing in the newer 1900.8d)

You can see it was because of Early Retirement.  ie I took the Temporary Early Retirement Authorty  (TERA) that was authorize from 1993 to 1996 because of overmanning.  Woo-hoo, best thing I've ever done!!!!  Got those retirement check at my 18 year point...

 

So I hope that helps you understand the way to read a DD-214 paper.  Always look for the page 4....

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