Fellow dad support

[John Alan DeMarco]

I must say this whole process has really gave me so much to think about. I have been keeping up with new dads starting the journey and exsiting dads still making their way through it. I must say I am a little envious of the dads on here right now. Just kidding. But seriously, You guys have an invaluable resource. Each other. There were not a lot of discussions on here a couple of months ago when I was in the boat. The admins always answered questions but Keep up with each other and encourage one another. We are all going through changes and all sorts of feelings as our child leaves. I was on several of the other sites after this site went quiet and I noticed the women were so talkative about what they were going through. Granted men and women are very different. And women talk. But I actually started looking for books for dads with children in the service and could not find any. One mom admin from the fb page said parents love for a child is the same. Read the books written by moms. Well I beg to differ, dads and moms are different. I mean why else would God give us a dad and a mom if either could do the same job. I have seriously considered writing a book. I have found myself in new territory. I am a single dad with a quiet house. My son didn't have his mom so I have had to learn a lot. do men read? Would they? Does society stereotype men?

[Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom]

The activity ebbs and flows with each new week. Some parent groups are much more active than others. Usually all it takes is a parent or two to start a group....If you build it, they will come! Men generally come looking for information and tend to be less emotional. I guess that it is just how we were raised by society. That certainly isn't to say that the emotions aren't there! I have found that once one Dad opens up, there is usually an outpouring of support from many others who are going through the same emotional roller- coaster. I can tell you.....that on the day of PIR....when that rollup door opens....the tears are the same from both Moms and Dads!

[Tony Strickland]

John,

You make some great points and have some valid questions. My hat is off to you for raising your son. I could not imagine what stength that took, never experiencing that myself. My career has afforded me the opportunity to be "Mr. Mom" throughout my kids lives, but this pales in comparison to your experiences. Both of my kids are now gone (daughter moved out in June and was married in August), so I'm sure my wife and I will be going through some withdrawals. As for me, I'm not typical when it comes to my emotions, happy or sad. They are out there and people will see them, I generally don't keep them in.

[Phil Shannon]

I think I'm an exception but wanted to respond. Great post! Although I made it through high school and college, I have great difficulty reading books. I think it's short attention span sort of thing. I've started to read tons of books, think I've only ever completed one. As I said, I think most people and men do read books or at least could read one if they wanted to. So I think you have a great idea about writing a book. Society definitely stereotypes men along with just about everything else. I haven't been coming to this site much lately, that goes in flows as some mentioned. But I do like to come here and read up on what the dads are going through with PIR and schools. 

[John Alan DeMarco]

It would not be a book I could write alone. I would need lots of stories From other dads. Every recruits path is different. I really enjoyed looking back and reading your daughters journey to sailor.