Pt 4
Soul searching
What is important to us?
When I met her she moved to the city to go to school (a second school for those counting). She later changed her mind, and decided she wanted to join the military. The following are my opinions. I recognize they are my opinions and not fact. Perhaps our opinions right, or wrong are really driving our emotions. But that is a whole different post. She came from a small waning industrial town . This town is famous for its dying economy. I believe the military is fully aware of this. There is no work. Most kids my girlfriend went to school with joined the service. Most if not all of them have returned to that town and continued to exist.
Not my girlfriend she knew in HS she wanted to leave. A culinary institute captured her interest, with an overly priced tuition, and out of town school. Like most kids that age she may not have been fully committed to it and quit. But, this school takes the money before you start. Shes out for a big student loan with little more than a high school education. The military does promise to help out with this.
Now did she join because its in the culture of a dying town to serve? Did she join because it’s the only way to kill these cursed loans? (The paranoid side of me) Did she join because there are many single guys there? Or did she simply join because it was a childhood dream? Im not sure she even knows the answer. For me the answer depends on the day. The killer part is we are apart, so I dwell on these daily.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. This is her life. I choose to be a part of it, just as we choose to be together. I believe the service is positive for many people.. I am also proud of her for having goals. This is the first woman I have been with that actually had an idea of what she wanted. To this day I find her incredibly attractive for that. When she asked what I thought; I told her I would support her decision. If its important to her we could work it out.
Our compromise was the reserves. There was no way I would ever tell a person not to do what they want. The ethics of such a wish is definitely immoral. If I had dissuaded her, she might resent me later. That is a relationship I could not have. I love being in a relationship that we make decisions together.
Remember, I am fully aware this is an opinion as previously mentioned. In my brief exposure to the military so far, I have decided it is for the poor. My evidence is the current culture of her hometown. And the fact there are few recruiting stations in North Scottsdale, but plenty in South Phoenix. There is no way a person with an education or future without the military would tolerate such treatment, and nonsense. I believe the military DOES provide great opportunity. Over the years I have worked with many people that would not have what they do without it, my father included.
My girlfriend and I do talk about the future, and at times, we have endured each others stinging words. The road has been hard. We are now both being tested through our choices. Are we ready for this? Lets hope so.
