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Its ironic how often I can be called sensitive for missing Sailorette. Yet if a value or tradition is questioned the most gentlemanly of gentlemen my lose their cool. I have not personaly attacked any one. My messages directed at specific people are genuine responses to specific points. My first blog post was edited, so I was cognizant in not using the same language. Now my most recent post has been edited with no off color language. I guess the response could be this is a family page and it must remain G rated. I say nay, The militarys sole function is killing. The members of this site have loved ones that will kill and be killed. I am reminded constantly Sailorettes relationship and mine are not our own any more. I should have known that going in. Well this family site is a conduit to an organizations focus is on killing our loved ones and the loved ones of others. I use the word killing and not murder because that depends on the reason the bullet is being put into the skull of the other person.

Have I crossed lines? Yes. Have I crossed Guidelines? No. 

running thought flow

We’ve all read the bumper sticker, “If you can read this thank a teacher. If you can read it in English thank a soldier.” This idea and common belief probably deserves a closer look.

What do soldiers protect? A language? Religion? “Freedom?” Oil? The list goes on and on. This statement speaks to a popular form of “American values.” And, is probably worthy of further thought.

Preserving culture and language is an interesting discussion. Arguments could be made either way. In a world that values tradition, preservation of language is necessary.  In a utilitarian world functioning in a multi-lingual environment is inefficient, and divisive.

What is my position? Manners. My parents had a mediocre grasp on manners in society. My grand parents were experts on the subject. I am glad to have been taught it is impolite to whisper to someone in front of others. It is also, impolite in a room full of people for a few to speak a different language in front of them.

We have all walked into a room in the workplace and then two people immediately lower their voices to a whisper. It likely has nothing to do with the person that just walked in. The conversation could range from discussions about Dr appointments to birthday presents. The conversation is clearly none of our business in the first place, but the behavior however warranted still instills some level discomfort to the adjacent audience.

When people start using all the “speak English or go home rhetoric,” in some cases they maybe racists or bigots. The majority are probably just people unable to articulate their cultural value of manners and its necessity. Another one of our sentiments is, the belief that soldiers are here to preserve our values. I dont see the problem with reminding others manners is one of our "American values."

With exactly three weeks left to go and a day for PIR, I’m feeling ever so anxious. I’m so anxious that I haven’t slept straight for weeks ever since my son left for boot camp.

I’d wake up in the middle of the night wondering how he’s doing, how he’s feeling and I still constantly worry but I always just hope for the best. I wish I had a Time Machine... Usually, I’ll have one of my “If I can only turn back time” moments, but in this case I wanna go full-throttle at warp speed ahead to 11/18/11.

To date I’ve received a couple of letters and one missed phone call - that’s my bad.

I continue to send him letters daily or every other day whenever possible. Even though I’ve probably repeated myself a hundred times over in context, I feel good that he’s got my letters to read instead of possibly none.

I take it that no news is good news most especially with regards to boot camp.

It can’t happen soon enough, but Great Lakes, here we come!...

Sailorette called Things are going well. The service isnt what she expected and she maintains a couple weeks could be shaved off of boot camp. She says there is ample "study time" I think that means time with nothing to do. 

She said getting lots of letters is awesome. Some people get a fistful every day. Some get little to none. One girl has gotten 1 letter from her boyfriend in 5 weeks (I think we know where this is going). Sailorettes grandmother and myself are the only two writing her regularly. I am writing every day. A division member said she was going to start writing to Sailoretes boyfriend (me) so she can start getting letters too. I thought it was funny so I am including a letter for her in the next letter to Sailorette. 

What to send? I send pics. Im not much of a picture guy but have discovered Walgreens lets you upload pics from your digital camera or phone, and develop them for 20 cents each. Another thing dont send all your pics at once. Spread em out over the weeks. I mail her all kinds of things poems, folded paper objects, random small items. and smells that remind her of home. You dont want the envelope to catch the attention of the base, so dont douse it. But remember, smell has different connection to the brain and memories than any of our other senses (FACT). I clipped one letter above the BBQ so she could smell grilled chicken. She has been asking for a back rub so the last letter has Icey Hot on it.

I send her occasional news articles. She is also a hockey fan. Every Friday I send her the standings. I will talk up all the big games coming up that weekend but wont tell her the scores till the following Friday. That  has got to drive her nuts. 

Sailorette is not different than any of the other boys and girls in boot camp. Every one of em Likes getting letters. I sent a big envelope full of paper, envelopes, and stamps. It is so weird to get her writing back on paper that was in the bottom draw of my desk a few weeks ago.

It is discouraging to write every day and get sporadic responses. It feels like you are writing to your self. This feels even more like you are writing to your self when some of your letters get returned (they are sticklers for correct postage). A few times I got very close to going on letter writing strike. I am glad I didnt when I hear about the reactions of people not getting letters

So if you go see a movie this weekend, pick up a pen and write about it. If their favorite team makes the play offs, send them updates from the paper. If their brother has a birthday that week get a picture on your phone and get it printed at the local pharmacy. These are simple things to do and if your recruit is special to you all those little 3X6 care packages will tell them so in a big way.

Thanks for the kind welcome. My daughter is in 7/371 with a PIR of 11/10/11. We have gotten 3 letters so far. It seems we get them on every Tuesday. I have 2 questions; Has anyone tried to bring any additional people to graduation beside the allowed 4 people, and did they get in? and, In "A" school, how much down time do they have? and, do they have access/privileges to phones and computers?Any info you can provide would be great. Thank you

i can only speak for me but the sight of a flag draped coffin as dad that just sent his son off to boot camp is a far to real reminder of what could be the outcome most of us are already on edge not that you did anything wrong i have talked to you i think you are a good guy something like that is just to soon for some of us

The night before the burial of her husband 2nd Lt. James Cathey of the United States Marine Corps, killed in Iraq, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of "Cat", and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept.
"I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it" she said.
"I think that's what he would have wanted".

-Not sure what is more honorable: Being married to this faithful wife to the end or the Marine standing next to the casket watching over them both.

Yay! I got another letter today. what a treat, I wasnt expecting it. Sailorette is doing well. There were complications when they pulled her teeth but she says its no big deal because the pharmacy is like a Pez dispenser.

I cant wait till PIR. I am going to carry her around and cover her with hickeys!. I cant wait!

I am not new to how the Navy dose things. With my nephew in it makes him the 5th generation in the Navy I think. Things can and will be hard for everyone, our seamen will be home sick and we will miss them but stay strong and have open comunications.

I received a second letter from my son. I was pretty bummed out about missing his phone call the other day but hearing from him again via letter I feel much better now.

I'm happy to hear that he's doing well in boot camp. I'm a worry wart by nature and most of the time I am my worst enemy. I've always try to set the bar higher for myself in life. My son has taken this to heart.

He's pushing to do his best and his commitment and dedication is unquestionable at this point. He is focused on ranking up to E2 and tells me that you must either hold down a division staff job or the DEP/PFA. He surrendered his job as a Laundry PO to try for (AROC) Assistant recruit chief petty officer/ Assistant recruit officer in charge. He aced the DEP test numbers (timed sit-ups and push-ups) but unfortunately, he was disqualified due an uncontrollable nose-bleed during the track run with around a minute and a half left to go. He was pretty disappointed in himself for the lack of hydration but remains upbeat and is looking forward to future opportunities.

He continues to strive hard and expressed the desire to train with Spec-Ops which is totally optional. It appears that he's received our letters from home and looks forward to getting more.

I'm teary-eyed, successful promotion or not, all I want to tell him is that his old man is so proud of him. I LOVE YOU SON!...

my wife went to work today so i stayed home today let me tell you i still have 5 girls at home both sons and one daughter are gone i still have 3 girls under 4 so when i tell you buts and boogers i mean it all 3 little ones have colds and i swear to god as soon as mom walks out the door they start poop there pants do you think the master chief would let me go bunk with our boys for a few weeks has to be more fun than this they can use me for pt cuz i dont think i can make it around the track they can carry my old butt ps my wife dosnt cook that great and from what i saw on the picks of there food im in heven all you dads out there just know they love you and will make you proud

                  i have worked for myself all my adult life so was able to take my son with me i think he was on my jobs from the time he was 2 so he watched me run men and crews the whole time he was growing up i have never asked one of my men yo do anything i was not willing to do myself and rite along side them i never talked down to the men and did not run around yelling at them i learned early on if you treat a man like a man you get there respect and they want to work for you my son wached me close and learned every job he has had he has been put in charge he was offered 40k to stay here by his job a week before he left in small town usa that is big money but my son has his goal set and off he went the whole town expects great thing of him and if there is one thing i know of my son he wont let them down he has never said if i make it only when some people say that is setting yourself up for a fall i call it setting a goal and with a lot of heart a man can reach any goal he sets for his self  and trust me he was taught that one and to tell you the truth i do not ever think he has ever said i cant do that i would have told him to roll up your sleaves and get it done anyway        sorry about the spelling  i work with my hands hope i got the point across

This afternoon my son called and I missed his call by seconds. By the time I picked up, I was too late. I feel horrible! Today I'd say is one of the crappiest days of my life. I can't help but to blame myself.

He did get a hold of his mother and from what she tells me he's a bit emotional from being away from home cause he misses us all. Otherwise, he's doing fine in boot camp. That made me feel happy and sad all at once.

So for all you folks out there who are expecting a call from your SR, please don't miss the call!...

    I found no one online in my situation. I wrote the first handful of blogs and posted them on my own web site. I emailed someone I know that served a full career in the Army. His response was “keep writing.” So I did. I found this site and thought people here would have some knowledge and input into these thoughts, and feelings.  I figured it would be therapeutic and the advice would be helpful. I am reasonably good at picking out advice even if its not right on the surface.

    Did I know when I started what I know now? Absolutely not. Interacting with the experienced people here and others that have been through it, I learned as you well Know by now its not for me. I thought I could do the reserves. I thought it would be easy. I knew it would be an adjustment for me. I am learning it is not an adjustment but a complete change in your life.

    Comments have been made if I don’t write positive letters someone could get hurt or killed. I don’t believe that for a minute. A more likely cause of an accident would be the yelling and berating for 20 hrs a day. Letters telling her the many reasons I miss her are not the problem. In fact I believe telling her if she cant do it, it would make my day to pick her up from the airport a couple weeks early should relax her. So the conclusion I have reached is that I will stay with her whole heartedly till A school is over. If she decides she would like to experience more of the military, that’s her decision.

    We had planned on getting married a few time s before boot camp, but it just hadn’t happened. I will not get married if she is in the service. I am here for her, and its her decision. Not yours or mine. The only advice I ever sought was a little context, and insight into the culture

I realize my point of view may not be common among this community. Do I think I am in the right place? Yes. I am no different than many others on the edge of becoming part of the military family. New members are filled with questions. I have asked many of the same questions in the context of my own point of view. I know other people have the same concerns and we need a place to go to get answers from people that have been through it.

In my situation, the answers I have received have helped me understand the military offers certain things. None of what they have to offer I need, except Sailorette . I am learning most all people here are supportive and have useful insight. Supportive does not mean necessarily agreeing, but sharing their experience or addressing misassumptions. The rest lack manners and/or the ability to convey sensible thought. (lucky for you guys others are making up for you deficiency[Thank you for your support admins, Rob H. and others]).

Only after carefully studying, I don’t see the problem with being honest enough as a partner to say the military is not for me. That is not selfish, its facing reality. *If you don’t get that talk about it amongst your selves.*

Those of you joining the discussion late. This has not been a tirade. This has been an evolving learning experience for my self. And I believe if you listen to a few of my points there are pieces every on can learn from.

I have promised my recruit, I would support her decision, and wait for her. I am fulfilling this promise just as the rest of you have for your loved ones. It is dishonest for me to say I will continue to be here if Im not willing to be a part of the military. I have told her it is not too late. If she doesn’t make it I still love her, and I am here waiting. If she wants to continue that is her choice.

People here have posted their children have been sent home early. And the response of the board is that of condolence and sympathy. Why? If you reconsider it in a realistic way, the world is not over. They just didn’t fit in, in some way or another. Supporting your loved ones means supporting them if they succeed in the military or not.

Your probably thinking, how have I supported Sailorette? When she asked if she should go I said it was up to her. I did not stop her. When she wanted to fly 1500 miles to see her family before she left I took her. Now that she has been exposed to the service she can make a more informed decision. I am here for her.

I f you reply, try to do it without NAME CALLING. In other forums it may be fine, but here it is not productive dialogue. These posts are of my life and my personal feelings about a woman I love. If you feel the need, start a “these are the names I would like to call Mr. Sailorette” discussion board. I would be happy to engage in rhetoric there.

I am finding some people confuse honesty with selfishness. When I say this I am not solely speaking about the reader.  The author is culpable in the same sense. Through much thought I have learned not all are cut from military cloth. Discerning this is the core function of boot camp. True these men and women are learning to become soldiers. The challenges they face test physical and mental capability, but those are not as important as the quality they truly test. They are testing commitment. Performing simple tasks under extreme pressure, the recruit and the institution are discovering whose heart is fully in it.

As a person with a loved one facing these trials, I am learning this is not a culture I fit well with. My experiences I am going through with the service have caused me to reevaluate my decision to be involved with a soldier. I have realized this through discussing the lifestyle with people I know that have served. I also consider the feedback from peoples experiences online.

A lot of discussion comes down to trust. I have never given my girlfriend drug tests every 2 weeks nor have I checked her criminal back ground. I also wouldn’t force her to take birth control. At one point she told me she didn’t want to take birth control any more so I went under the knife. That is a very permanent decision. Now the Military is putting her back on.

Out of high school I considered joining the US Coast Guard. I had a child on the way. I worked two jobs 7 days a week. I did not know what to do. When I learned about what I would sacrifice I chose to work the two jobs. I do not regret watching my child learn to walk and speak. I cherish that I was able to teach my child to ride a bicycle. I would have lost those things volunteering for the service.

That being said I find the feedback I am getting often comes from a narrow perspective. This concerns me. The advice is far from universal. Those that have read my past publications often don’t take into account my daughter is now a senior in high school.. What do I tell her if her, her boyfriend or another friend is considering the service? I think I will be honest. They have a lot to offer for a person her age. Its not easy and its not for everyone. Relationships will be difficult, and the individual will belong to the government. I believe these are truths I think everyone involved in the military understands.

I have learned the military is not for me. And any one in boot camp that thinks it will not be for them should realize it is the final hour to make that decision. When a recruit fails it is probably less likely a question of  physical strength or mental ability it is more likely a question in commitment.

To the parents and lovers out there I ask you this. Would you love your recruit any less for being honest and having to make that 2 minute phone call?

Don’t misunderstand me. We need people fighting for our country. And if our freedom was under threat Id be the first to grab any thing I could shoot and dig in. But I am not cut from military

A bulletin popped up on Navy facebook from TSC Great Lakes stating in so many words that Dec. 16 until Jan 2 will be Holiday Leave.  My son will be graduating PIR this Friday, the 14th and attending the TSC Great Lakes.  I'm cautiously optimistic at this time.  Should I plan on this or should I standby? (My Navy dad had many stories of his Navy days and superiors changing plans on many occasions. The South Pacific during WWII may have been a little different, however)

2nd - My son wrote that they finished some marching drills and got their "Drivers License" with ability to "sing" at graduation march. I got the impression this is a good thing.  I apologize if this is already in the archives somewhere, but can anyone clarify for me?

By this time I'm sure my son has been bombarded with letters galore from family and friends. I do realize with the very limited time they all have in boot camp, that he may or may not be able to respond to all or if any, of the letters that he's received.

I don't expect any letters back from him while in bootcamp though I'd be thrilled if I get anything after the first. The family and I know that we've sent him our well wishes and letters of support. That's all about what we can do. That is what's under our control. We wait with patience and if a phone call or letter comes in then that's awesome!

The only thing in my power that I can do as his father is to support him one thousand percent. I love my son and the last thing I want to do is to doubt his decisions or make him feel that he's made the wrong move or turn in life.

We had a pretty in-depth talk (father and son) about what he wanted to do with his life. College or work or whatever. He's had several jobs as a teen that paid very well. From clerical work to a gig with a professional moving company. The sum of all its parts and his final answer equaled the US Navy.

With that said, I am respectful and grateful of his decision to craft his future and make something of himself that we can all be proud of...

Is the military for every one?

I love my girlfriend and want to be with her. The more I learn about the military the more I believe it may not be a good fit for me.

When your girlfriend joins the military she belongs to them. You can choose to be a part of that system if you like.

Things I am having a hard time with. She is in boot camp and this is stressful to me for a verity of reasons. These are soldiers they work closely together and the bond between them is very strong.  Soldiers have no say over their bodys. Often they pull their wisdom teeth if needed or not. Women are forced to go on birth control. My employer has forced no one to do either of these things. Is there promiscuity in the military? I don’t know but at least my girlfriend wont get pregnant if there is.

What got to me was, missing my sailorette and wanting to talk to her. If you don’t mind someone else dictating correspondence between you and your loved one you shouldn’t have any hang ups. The key (and this has been shown in research of successful relationships) to any healthy relationship is communication. When that is taken away from me I do not function well. The advice from the Mil and others is to keep your letters positive. I am a part of this and I have feelings too.  They say they are working hard. I believe folding pants and swinging from monkey bars with a belly full of water is hard work. But letters about how I feel are just as important to me.

The military needs to work on supporting relationships among loved ones instead of dissolving them. The alternative would be single post adolescents  living on base together which would not be sustainable.

I just found this website and joined.  My #1 son is in week 4 at Recruit Training Command at Great Lakes.  He will be an HM.  I miss him alot.  I am so proud of him